Bashny.Net
Leave a habit to guess the mood of others
Bashny.Net
The theme of codependent behavior is not losing popularity. How to save yourself and the relationship, adjusting the boundaries of their own comfortable way, especially if you have not had the opportunity to learn this at home? How to choose between their own and other people's needs, especially if you used to be comfortable and not cause any trouble? How to determine what I am eligible and do not have, especially if I used to think that this solves the other? How to learn to refuse and deny? How to maintain personal integrity?
Not everyone is ready to discuss these and similar questions with the psychologist, and just with another person. Many people prefer to deal around themselves. I wrote a small memo on the case.
These tips collectively and just point in the direction in which it is time to reflect. Something that might be useful in "pure form".
1. Get a special bracelet, bracelet or ring (if you are right handed, the left hand and if left handed then Vice versa). When you are asking for something strange, unnecessary to offer, or to call where they shouldn't, instead of answering stir bracelet or ring and say, "I'll think about it and answer you tomorrow." What you need to do tomorrow, read below.
2. Yes, you can refuse if you don't like something. You need to apologize to, only in the case if you earlier promised to accept, and now refuse. In other cases, to apologize for the failure is not necessarily. To explain the failure you should not.
3. Yes, you can also opt out if you do not like the proposal itself, and the one who does it. No, you don't have to explain anything.
4. To paragraphs 2 and 3: promise less. I know what you're doing it, internally jumping from a prick of guilt. Train yourself to tolerate these injections without in the promises. You don't have to promise anything to anyone if you don't want.
5. If you are a guest, not necessarily to help the hostess wash dishes. Yes, you can just enjoy. Ah, you just do not like these guests? Not necessarily the next time to go here, even if you are invited.
6. A person Concierge from your porch has nothing to do with you. She always has that face. If she wants something, she'll tell you herself. Even if the face of kosersky something to do with you, anyway let them say herself. You don't have to think about it.
7. Leave a habit to guess the mood of others by voice: you are always wrong not in their favor. Either ask directly, what exactly is wrong or leave them their mood: wants, you tell yourself.
8. You don't have to immediately respond to an email (SMS, WhatsApp message, etc.), if you do not have this personal need. If you are not interested in this relationship, you can never respond. Yes, you have the right to be not interested in a relationship.
9. You have the right to stop the conversation or other communication that you don't need or no longer like. Over time you learn to do it gracefully, and remember: you can just disappear. If you are afraid to succumb to guilt, or persuasion, can get away without saying goodbye.
10. You can not just pick up the phone when you call. Honestly, you don't even have to take up.
11. No, it's not your fault that your friend was drunk again. It's not the fact that he was "too glad to see you." He's just an alcoholic. Alcoholics from time to time drunk, using others as an excuse, reason or justification. You just successfully turned up to him. Even if your friend tells you "your fault that I got drunk again", you still not guilty.
12. Develop your own emotional and bodily sensitivity. Trust your experiencing discomfort. If you manipulate it often looks like a sinking feeling in the chest or abdomen, and sometimes it just felt like a headache. Stay away from such relationships and situations.
13. Shame and guilt — feelings that only you can sort through in your own life. If someone tells you what you are to blame or that you should be ashamed — go.
14. If your partner does something that you don't like, don't wait until he exposes himself. He is not you, and he won't know. Ask him to stop. And you don't have to explain why, but if you want to explain. If your partner does not stop you to do what you asked him to make sure how well he understood you. On the third time leave.
15. By the way, you probably didn't know, but if you threaten something, you need to call the police. I checked, it works. Moreover, you need to call, not when you hit and after the first verbal threats.
16. Before giving money to debt, take a week to think it over, even if you have this amount.
17. Before you agree with someone on a joint vacation, take two weeks to think it over, even if you are free on these dates, and you like the offer.
18. Before you agree to a long work project, take a month to think. Mention everything, especially the manipulative future colleagues and boss.
19. Before making a proposal for a joint life take you six months to think. You don't have to accept anything you doubt.
20. This applies to any of your decision.published
Author: Pauline Gaverdovsky
Also interesting: Stop trying to dramatize his life!
5 conditions required to reach
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: gaverdovskaya.ru/public/old/story1813.htm
Not everyone is ready to discuss these and similar questions with the psychologist, and just with another person. Many people prefer to deal around themselves. I wrote a small memo on the case.
These tips collectively and just point in the direction in which it is time to reflect. Something that might be useful in "pure form".
1. Get a special bracelet, bracelet or ring (if you are right handed, the left hand and if left handed then Vice versa). When you are asking for something strange, unnecessary to offer, or to call where they shouldn't, instead of answering stir bracelet or ring and say, "I'll think about it and answer you tomorrow." What you need to do tomorrow, read below.
2. Yes, you can refuse if you don't like something. You need to apologize to, only in the case if you earlier promised to accept, and now refuse. In other cases, to apologize for the failure is not necessarily. To explain the failure you should not.
3. Yes, you can also opt out if you do not like the proposal itself, and the one who does it. No, you don't have to explain anything.
4. To paragraphs 2 and 3: promise less. I know what you're doing it, internally jumping from a prick of guilt. Train yourself to tolerate these injections without in the promises. You don't have to promise anything to anyone if you don't want.
5. If you are a guest, not necessarily to help the hostess wash dishes. Yes, you can just enjoy. Ah, you just do not like these guests? Not necessarily the next time to go here, even if you are invited.
6. A person Concierge from your porch has nothing to do with you. She always has that face. If she wants something, she'll tell you herself. Even if the face of kosersky something to do with you, anyway let them say herself. You don't have to think about it.
7. Leave a habit to guess the mood of others by voice: you are always wrong not in their favor. Either ask directly, what exactly is wrong or leave them their mood: wants, you tell yourself.
8. You don't have to immediately respond to an email (SMS, WhatsApp message, etc.), if you do not have this personal need. If you are not interested in this relationship, you can never respond. Yes, you have the right to be not interested in a relationship.
9. You have the right to stop the conversation or other communication that you don't need or no longer like. Over time you learn to do it gracefully, and remember: you can just disappear. If you are afraid to succumb to guilt, or persuasion, can get away without saying goodbye.
10. You can not just pick up the phone when you call. Honestly, you don't even have to take up.
11. No, it's not your fault that your friend was drunk again. It's not the fact that he was "too glad to see you." He's just an alcoholic. Alcoholics from time to time drunk, using others as an excuse, reason or justification. You just successfully turned up to him. Even if your friend tells you "your fault that I got drunk again", you still not guilty.
12. Develop your own emotional and bodily sensitivity. Trust your experiencing discomfort. If you manipulate it often looks like a sinking feeling in the chest or abdomen, and sometimes it just felt like a headache. Stay away from such relationships and situations.
13. Shame and guilt — feelings that only you can sort through in your own life. If someone tells you what you are to blame or that you should be ashamed — go.
14. If your partner does something that you don't like, don't wait until he exposes himself. He is not you, and he won't know. Ask him to stop. And you don't have to explain why, but if you want to explain. If your partner does not stop you to do what you asked him to make sure how well he understood you. On the third time leave.
15. By the way, you probably didn't know, but if you threaten something, you need to call the police. I checked, it works. Moreover, you need to call, not when you hit and after the first verbal threats.
16. Before giving money to debt, take a week to think it over, even if you have this amount.
17. Before you agree with someone on a joint vacation, take two weeks to think it over, even if you are free on these dates, and you like the offer.
18. Before you agree to a long work project, take a month to think. Mention everything, especially the manipulative future colleagues and boss.
19. Before making a proposal for a joint life take you six months to think. You don't have to accept anything you doubt.
20. This applies to any of your decision.published
Author: Pauline Gaverdovsky
Also interesting: Stop trying to dramatize his life!
5 conditions required to reach
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: gaverdovskaya.ru/public/old/story1813.htm
Tags
See also
The habit of playing the Victim
A man with whom it is impossible LONG HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Smiling makes us attractive.
An amazing story of the Siberian family that 40 years have not seen other people
Habits of thinking, unusual strong spirit people
What questions can hear novice rawfoodist from other people about the benefits or harm to a raw food diet?
Pain don't hurt other people
A woman who loves to save other people
You have the right to tell other people NO!
As a habit can ruin lives
