Replace the "narcissism" to "cystitis", and you will realize that even a small amount you do not need Bashny.Net

In the last (long), the concept of narcissism is slowly but surely shifted from complex psychopathology textbooks first in the non-fiction texts, then on TV, and finally sounded in the kitchen, inevitably perverted.

On TV and kitchens still believe that "narcissism" is synonymous with "narcissism." Hence - popular in the same conclusion: "A small number of narcissism nobody has hurt»

. Replace the word "narcissism" to "cystitis", "schizophrenia" or "ptosis", and you will realize that even a small amount you do not need.




Foundations

1. A few paragraphs as eyeliner. The Roman poet Ovid 2,000 years ago, told us a story about a young man who fell in love with his own reflection in the water and died of longing for the unattainable "beloved." The young man named Narcissus, of course.

The paradox of the origin of the term "narcissism" that term belongs to Sigmund Freud, but he was, in fact, belongs only to the term.

Neither Ovid nor Freud to seek relevant information about narcissism is not necessary. All the most valuable theory of narcissism (and related approaches to treatment) came later.

Here is a partial list of names to be mentioned in this connection:

Otto Kernberg,
Heinz Kohut,
Nancy McWilliams,
Gary M. Yontef,
Elinor Greenberg,
Harm Siemens,
Spagnolo Lobb.

2. It is considered that narcissistic traits are laid as a response to the specific context of family and okolosemeyny:

excessive or conflicting demands on a child by adults,
humiliation or experience chronic unfavorable comparisons with other, more successful or beloved children,
experience of "Star", the acute success (or success), which is experienced as a sine qua non of parental love and acceptance.

The development of the narcissistic disorder also contributes:

presence of impaired depressed or emotionally insensitive important relatives,
ignoring the actual emotional and personal experience of the child,
use of a child and its success as the achievement of their own ambitious goals (the child as a narcissistic extension).

3. In the most general sense, narcissistic suffering refers to a set of personal characteristics, including:

difficulties with the formation of self-awareness and self-esteem;
the difficulty of establishing an adequate motivation and evaluation of the actions, successes, themselves and others;
painful response to real or perceived failure (and, as a consequence, a high probability of depression);
polarized (or even a split in the "black" and "white") emotionally-personal sphere;
the difficulty of establishing deep relationships, forming attachments to others.

Intensity of narcissistic suffering (like any other) can have different degrees on the scale of the defeat. From a narcissistic injury (suffering occasionally enlivened in highly specific conditions, reminiscent of children's and traumatic) through accentuation (human characterize certain personality traits such as competitiveness, painful feelings, fear of comparisons, etc.) To malignant narcissism, when we are dealing with a level of defeat personality disorder (the complexity of reality testing, emotional instability, low capacity for relationships, etc.).

4. The leading characteristic of the narcissistic self-consciousness - its polarization. Family context, which is a native of the narcissistic person is usually different depreciation, exaggerated requirements for the success of the child, humiliating, traumatic comparisons with other child, conditional parental love, OE All these factors create a person who is very difficult to rely on their own bodily, emotional and cognitive experience in the knowledge of ourselves and the world. Simply put, if a lifetime you little love, a lot, and is not good compared to someone or falling, if you feel that mom and dad for their parental happiness is necessary to present something more than yourself - all this is very prevents perceive the world, as it is and our place in it.

5. This person has difficulty with reference to his own "I". "Good" or "bad" had firmly linked to external evaluation, and the experience itself depends on how "successful" or "relevant requirements", he experiences himself in every next moment.

That is what I call a polarized emotional-personal sphere: depending on momentary success / random evaluation / compliance imaginary model of such a person feels the king, the "loser", the genius, the jerk, etc.

Often you can see that the feelings and opinions, and actions - no flexibility and value a reality. Rather, the pendulum is simply moved from one pole to the other, and vice versa.

It is interesting that in terms of the external functionality such people can be a very successful and not too much, but their inner drama continues to live by the laws described, regardless of external realities.

So, I can take care of yourself frantically and persistently engage in sports as long as it helps me to get high marks of others. Random crash, failure, disapproval of some important characters are so knock me out, that in a month I will dwell in the commune daunshifterov and I will say with confidence that this is what I have always lacked.

As you might guess, there is no truth nor there, nor there. The truth is that I have no idea who I am, and that's good for me.



Inside

Narcissistic thinking style (the usual way of thinking) has a number of characteristics. I want to concentrate on the main one - cognitive polarization. The term I came up right away, although would not be surprised if it was not me and I never came up with anything original

. Thus, cognitive polarization - direct cleavage product in the personal and emotional areas that we have discussed above. Similarly, as the narcissistic personality moves from experience to experience themselves void itself ambitious (with a full sense of the actual experiences of authenticity), just as intellectual ideas about the world is organized in such people on the dual principle. Memories are often split into tragic or heroic dreams of the future can have a grand or catastrophic.

"I've never been»,
"He has always been»,
"We never - we always».

Of course, the picture that I am describing seems a caricature, so to such a degree of severity, it is rare.

In some cases, cognitive polarization can cause impulsive or reactive, and sometimes - and uncritical behavior, especially in a difficult situation psychologically. Everything is bad - it is necessary to do well immediately, and forever. The error should be corrected immediately. Fell? Immediately become. Ill? Immediately cure. Died? Be sure to revive. In an extreme case - to give birth to a new or look like. The pendulum continues to swing, skipping the middle.

Outside

Working with narcissistic disorder psychotherapy lengthy, complicated and never ending. The preceding sentence may sound depressing, but it's true. And the truth - is the main deficiency that is experiencing a narcissistic being

. One of the main strategic directions of the therapist with narcissistic dynamics - contribute to meeting the client to the current truth of his life. This is especially true of Gestalt therapy, as it traditionally has always paid great attention to the client-therapeutic process in real time, actual experience and customer phenomenology.

Tactically work with such people may look very different in different moments. However, its main target is usually the integrity of the actual human experience and strengthen customer and the ability to withstand the actual experience itself, and contact with another person (the therapist) in real time, and in the flow of the experience.

Under the current experience I understand most concepts of completeness of human life at any given point in time: the awareness of real feelings, emotions, impulses and accompanying all this bodily process of the client in contact with the therapist. The latter is extremely important, since one of the main features of the narcissistic personality is a weak ability to be in contact (dialogue) with a friend, and trust him with his current mental process.

I'm a little afraid to tighten theoretical prelude. It may be that the long eyeliner would be disproportionate to the simple idea that I found amusing couple of days ago, and for which I write this. So get down to business.

Top

Let's tear off the eyes of peace and change of scale of the endoscope. If you look at the narcissistic epidemic in terms of history and geography, will like this. Conditional (!) Time milestone fertilized egg can be considered narcissistic which appeared in 1931 g.knigu James Adams, "American Dream." Despite the simplicity, beauty and attractiveness declared in her ideals (freedom, happiness and self-realization: universal), half a century later it was found out, that being taken seriously, the American dream is strongly disfigures the soul of dreamers. Despite the vastness of America and endlessly in her all the best, it turned out that the social elevator up to the top is not all luck. What McDonald invent only two. But nine-tenths of the population doomed to a lifetime to collect hamburger, salad and a roll in the Big Mac. Self-realization is not enough at all.

The most toxic in the American dream, I believe semantic and motivational vector directed into the future. Self made person believes that everything happens if pull their socks up. Opportunities have restrictions void, the home country is beautiful, and life eternal. In general, I think America should feel just as strong as it is unconscious blame for the occurrence of an epidemic of narcissism, however, Germany - for the Nazi crimes. It is clear that the Soviet psychic reality in this sense, is no better, but being repulsed by the war far behind, we are only now beginning to guess at something of what America has long said aloud: the pendulum flies back

. Conclusion

According to different opinions "we" lagging behind "them" for 15-30 years. Interesting geography narcissistic polarization can be seen in the evolution of acrylic nails. If we make an imaginary trip to the nail salon from Ekaterinburg to Munich, we see that the long knives will pale scarlet and shorten to the suburbs, and in Munich coated manicure disappear as something alien and unnatural nature.

Meanwhile, for the most part people are still (or "there" or "here") have not learned to hear themselves instead evert already existing foreign. It seems that's not all differ from one another.

"Modesty" does not mean "dullness".
Take care of yourself - does not mean everything they wanted
. Look natural - not to go to the men's shorts with unshaven legs, if you are a woman
. Be tolerant - not to speak peacefully through the fence "Hallow" neighbor-pedophile
. Optionally, to lose both legs, to engage in dressage.
Optionally to be mentally retarded, to teach at the University.
Evolve - means finding the best way forward

. I wish you success - it is normal. Be nice - nice.

But take its place - much prettier and nicer than borrow foreign

. And to each of us to find exactly his, we will need many years. And maybe decades.

Author: Pauline Gaverdovsky