Oh, these inhabitants of Odessa finger in her mouth no luggage ... bitten off at the elbow!
Site publishes a selection of sparkling humor of Odessa. - Monechka, my dear, tell me, do you remember when you decided to marry me
?
- Of course I remember! When I learned that you have given me a bouquet sold, I immediately realized: you're just the kind of woman that I need
!
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- Solomon Markovich, sho a mature age
?
- This is the period between the end of the illusions of youth and start of old age hallucinations
.
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- Abraham, why do not you buy a car
?
- What for? When I feel good, I carries the police, and when the bad - ambulance
.
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Rose Markovna stood in front of the supermarket and softly whispered: "Lord, help me to buy only what came ...»
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- Zhorik on a first date:
- Oh, Rose Sigizmundovna and vie the Internet itself is not as described ...
- Yes vie drink, Zhorik, drink
!
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- Benny, I still guarantee you sho in five years we will have a better life than in Europe
!
- A sho they happen
?
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- So, Sarah, your diet, one apple, one egg and cheese
.
- Clearly, the doctor, it is before or after a meal
?
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- Sarah, you and I married the first day, and only quarrel ...
- Tackie two years I waited for this day
!
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"Better safe than sorry" - Moshe thought, when he runs out of ink in the pen at the time of registration in the registry office
.
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- Sarochka, sho vie keep me for a fool ?!
- Yes, I'm your fool and do not touch
!
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- Mom, is not shoby I'm not glad to see you, just did not have time for you to get bored ...
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- Aunt Sonya, and Shaw is a "public opinion»
?
- Public opinion - it is the opinion of those who did not ask
.
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- My Lucy forever whining: "Mine have nothing to wear, nothing to wear mine!»
- Oh, Fima, I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let himself wears!
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- Samuel Markovic, you're strong, you can do it
!
- Jacob, I'm smart, I did not even undertake
!
***
Odessa market:
- Madam, how much is your chicken
?
-. 40 hryvnia
- And so, I did not think Schaub for you bad
?
***
- Celia, you have a shred of conscience is
?
- You sho, still instill
?
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- Tell me, and I sho will still have for their selflessness
?
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- Hello, Semen Abramovich! How's life?
- In life, of course, is not enough, but, thank God, the funeral we also can not afford ...
***
By law, Nathan Markovich has the right to work.
But he is trying not to abuse this right.
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- Firochka and de have you been? Shaw a long time since you have not seen!
- Yes to work in Italy I went
.
- Are you at least do not occur: always spoil the mood
!
***
- Oh, Rabinovich, come again! then so well without you!
via www.adme.ru/svoboda-narodnoe-tvorchestvo/porciya-otmennogo-odesskogo-yumora-1271265/