When I learned not to judge ... Bashny.Net

When we judge everyone and everything, we do not learn anything. When I learned not to judge people, you become a happier person and best friend. It was one of the most incredible changes that I made in my life.

I'm not going to lie, I never judge others. We all tend to do it, as if to say, by default. It is human instinct, and I am no exception. But I learned to stop at the right moment and to recognize situations when condemnation injures.

What I noticed, watching people (including myself) who condemn others?




 - They do not know the whole story and can not understand what has gone through this or that person.
 - They have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations.
 - They subconsciously believe that the best of those who condemn.
 - They are selfish and focused only on itself.
 - They cease to be grateful for what they have, and to feel compassion for those less fortunate.
 - They do not want to learn, instead they condemn and reject people who are different from them.
 - They can not help the situation with conviction positions.

How is it that we begin to blame other people

Let me give an example from his personal life.

I have an old friend who is watching their health, he suffers from excess weight and high blood pressure, and still eat fast food and do not do sports. I know that it can improve your health by simply changing their daily habits. I blame him for what he does and often get angry at his presence. I indirectly insulting him with his arrogant comments and leave when the conversation comes to a standstill.

A similar trend in the relationship between people there all the time. Now let's take a closer look, what actually happens in my situation ...

Firstly, I will never understand what is going through my friend, as well as his views on the world. The truth is that it is deeply concerned about his poor health. He considers himself ugly and feels fear. He was not able to make rational decisions, because they do not trust themselves. Because of his depression, he desperately tries not to think about everything that is related to his health.

It becomes easier when he looks series and something to chew at this time. He is trying to cope with the situation. And in fact, I have repeatedly made similar in the past, and I could not. I have encountered difficulties. I felt depressed. I tried to deal with the problems of unhealthy ways. So, I'm no better than him, even if they believe so.

Moreover, I do not notice how amazing man he is, despite his health problems. I should be grateful for it. It is really wonderful, that is why I am friends with him. But I forget about it when I condemn it.

I manifest self-centeredness, considering himself "better", pointing to what it "should" be, irritated and thinking that my feelings are more important than his inner pain. I'm not trying to understand what is really going on in his mind and why. Instead, I simply condemn it. In keeping with this position, I can not help it, because I believe that all conversations with him are not worth my effort.

How do I stop condemning human, if you have already started to do

First of all, you must realize that you are doing this. To acquire this skill takes practice.

But there are two clear signs by which you can determine what someone blame:

You feel anger, resentment, anger and contempt in relation to a particular person;
You complain or gossip about it.

When you catch yourself thinking that doing condemning someone, stop and take a deep breath. You do not need to indulge in self-flagellation. Just ask yourself a few questions:

Why do I condemn this man?
Which unnecessary or excessive expectations I have against him?
Can I put myself in the place of this man?
What he's going through?
Can I learn more about its history?
What I appreciate about this man right now?

Once you do this, show kindness and compassion. Perhaps this man needs to be listened to without judgment and display control.

In any case, remember that you can not help them with conviction positions, which, moreover, is a stressful occupation.
Mantras help you stop judging people

Mantras help you stop judging people

I realized everything that was discussed above, but often forget about it, being in a state of flushed. However, I have implemented a unique strategy to stop judging people.

In a nutshell: I always remind myself that can not condemn people. Every time I feel like I want to condemn the man, I read about the following mantra.

1. Look inside yourself first. When two people meet, the prize always goes to the one who best understands itself. (S) he feels more confident, calmer and more at ease in the presence of others.

2. Do not be lazy and do not judge people. Be better. Read about what happened. Listen. Be more simple. Be open. Be teachable. Be a good person.

3. Every person has their own life story. Remember this. Respect and accept him as he is.

4. The way we treat the people with whom somewhat disagree, is an indicator of what we know about love, compassion and kindness.

5. Do everything possible to keep the sincere love in my heart. The more beautiful you see in other people, the more good you will discover in yourself.

6. Be present in the moment. Please. Praise people, to discover their strengths.

7. We all choose different paths in search of happiness and fulfillment. If a person does not follow the same path as you, it does not mean that he was lost.

8. When you argue with someone, consider only the current situation. Do not stir up the past.

9. People who take you with all your flaws, really love you. Do not forget about it.

10. Whatever happens, do not lose kindness towards others.