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Advice on marriage, which I, unfortunately, no one gave

Obviously, I'm not an expert on relationships. But this week completed my divorce, and, looking back, I see a lot of things that would have been glad to do it differently. After losing the woman he loves after nearly 16 years of marriage, I can list those tips, which I missed.




1. Never stop to take care of your beloved.

Never stop to achieve its location. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to take hold of her heart and constantly take care of it. This is the most important and cherished treasure entrusted to you. She chose you. Never forget about it and never be lazy love.

2. Take care of your own heart.

You must keep her heart, but also keep an eye out to keep his own. Treat with the love of self, open to the world and love it, but in your heart to be a special place, which will not enter anybody, except your wife. Always be ready to call it back, take it and do not let go of anyone or anything, except her.

3. falls in love with her all over again.

You will be constantly changing. You are not like during the wedding, and after five years you will not be such as it is now. Change will come, so you have every day again and again to choose each other. She did not have to stay with you, and if you will save up her heart, she would give it to someone else, or will close it for you, and maybe you will never be able to get it back. Encourage her love constantly, as in the time when you cared for her.

4. Always look on the best side of it.

Focus only on what you love. If you concentrate on what annoys you, you will not see anything but the reason for the irritation. And if you focus on what you love, then love will overflow you. Concentrate as in the field of view there will be nothing but love, and you will feel no shadow of a doubt that you - the happiest man on earth because this woman - your wife

. 5. Do your task - to change or correct its

. Your task - to love it such as it is, without expecting that it will ever change. And if it will change, like it this way it will be, regardless of whether you are satisfied with these changes or not.

6. fully responsible for their emotions.

The task of your wife - not to bring happiness to you and it can make you miserable. You are responsible for finding their own happiness. When you will gain it, your joy will go into your relationship and your love.

7. Do not blame the wife.

Are you frustrated or angry because it only because her actions have caused some reaction in your soul. If you have such feelings, give yourself time to recover, to look into his soul and realize that it requires treatment. This woman attracted you to the fact that it is the hardest touches the wounds left over from childhood, and thus gave them the opportunity to heal. Once you will understand with their children's grievances and complexes, you will no longer touches and wonder how it was even possible.

8. Just let your woman to be.

When she is sad or upset, do not try to bring it to life. Your job - to hug her and let her know that everything will be fine. Let her know that you hear it, it is important to you and what it can always rely on you. Women's fickle soul and emotional, the feelings will be your companion to roll and go, like the sun in April, and if you stay strong and will not condemn her, she will trust you and open your heart. When she is sad, do not run away. Stay close, be strong and let her know that will not go away. Listen for the meaning of what she says, despite the words and emotions.

9. fooled.

Do not take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh and tell her. Laughing easier to transfer everything else.

10. Fill her soul every day.

Learn the language of her love, find out what gives her a sense of self-worth and value. Ask her to create a list of ten things that allow her to feel loved. Remember them, and every day, try to give her the opportunity to feel like a queen.

11. Be here and now.

It is important not just to give her time to think of her with undivided attention. Unload the brain in any way possible and fully devote his attention to his wife, when you are together. Treat it as a very important client at work. It is the most important client.

12. Be willing to close it.

Admired his courage it, take it with full force and passion, to penetrate into the deepest layers of her soul. Allow it to be soft and feminine and let her know that she can trust you completely.

13. Do not be a fool ... and not be afraid to seem stupid.

Both of you will certainly make mistakes. Try not to fan the flies from the elephants and learn from mistakes. Nobody is waiting for you to ideal behavior. Just try not to act too stupid.

14. Leave her space.

Women are perfectly able to give oneself to others, but sometimes they need to recover. Sometimes it is necessary to depart from the family nest and find food for the soul, and if you allow it to do so, his wife back, inspired and joyful. Yes, I'm a little carried away by poetic wording, but you get my point. Remind her to find time for herself, especially after having children. She needs free time and space to upgrade, return to yourself and do not lose yourself in the service of children, her husband and the whole world.

15. Be vulnerable.

You do not have to always be calm. Be prepared to share their fears and feelings, as if you did something wrong, do not hesitate to immediately recognize it.

16. Be fully open.

If you want to trust, you must be willing to share everything. Especially with what you do not want to share. To love a woman completely, fully open your heart and let it go, not knowing whether her what she would see, you need courage like. And in order to enable it to fully love you - not only bright but also dark sides. Remove the mask. If you, for your feelings, next to the companion you need to wear a mask and constantly look perfect, you will never feel the love in all its fullness.

17. Do not stop in the joint growth.

In a pond of stagnant water originates malaria and river flow is always fresh and cool. If the muscle does not develop, it atrophies in a natural way; the same happens with the relationship, if stop work on them. Look for common goals, dreams, and far-reaching plans and move towards them.

18. Do not worry about money.

Money - it is a game. For the sake of victory in this game you need to be a team. Quarrels in the team never going to benefit. Learn how to give each other strength to win.

19. Farewell at once and concentrate on the future rather than to bear the burden of the past.

Do not let your stories to keep you hostage. The habit of holding on to past mistakes, whoever did, you or she - the heavy anchor for your marriage. It pulls you back. Forgiveness - is freedom. Cut anchor and always choose love.

20. Always choose love.

Always choose love. Always choose love. Ultimately, it is - the only truly necessary advice. If you are guided every decision that choice, the happiness of your marriage is not threatened. Love will stand still.

In the end, the marriage - not a line "and they lived happily ever after»

. This is a job. And a commitment to grow together, and will to the constant creation that will last forever. That work on this will bring happiness.

Marriage - it is a life, and with it will come the ups and downs. We must learn to be happy to take each cycle and learn to learn from each experience. That is what will give strength and allow to always see the prospects and continue to build brick by brick marriage.

I knew it only from your mistakes. Too late.

But I'm trying to learn this lesson and is determined to pass it on. I really enjoyed living in a marriage. Over time, I'm getting married again, and when that happens, the foundation of a new marriage survive any storm, and at any time.

If you have found the fruits of my bitter experience useful, share them with the young couple, whose hearts are full of hope, and with couples, have forgotten how to love. Perhaps one of the men will be similar to the old me. Maybe these lessons, get me dearly, arouse in him any feelings, and he will learn to be the one who waited for his beloved.

The woman said to him, "Yes!", Trust him with my life, and waited for him a responsible attitude.

If you have something does not suit in your own marriage, take the 100% responsibility for your actions in the marriage, regardless of what is happening with your wife, and apply these lessons, it is too late.

Men, be the best lovers. There is no more difficult task - and there is no greater reward. Your woman deserves.

Be such a husband, a wife could not you boast.