About the "Predators"

It turns out that Robert Rodriguez likes about the Predator series of films, especially the original film.
Well, like, they're fun such violent hands of director and play this iconic stretch material.

And when izdohshaya after painful experiments franchise fell from the Hollywood mainstream, Rodriguez vkogtilsya in her death - give me a dream of my childhood, I have heaped such, what we did not dare to dream. Moreover, Rodriguez is one-man band - himself writing, he rented himself to music impose even prodyuserstva gradually - do they say, normal for the hardcore fans of the original, not the teen pop music about the pale vampires.

And when The fan community has trumpeted all the vuvuzelas of happiness, out of the closet Rodriguez began receiving alarming news - crazy story about a safari on an alien planet, stupid pictures from the site and the main blow - the role of Schwartz gave play refined metrosexuals Brody, specializing in roles pianists and nerve intellectuals.

Rodriguez all I comforted, saying, I know what I'm doing - see for yourself.
Well, actually, I suggest to get acquainted with what I personally saw.
Review purely spoylersky, due to sheer senselessness story films.

The film starts without any acceleration and Prologue - Pianist wakes up in free fall from the sky down to the ground. Despite the complex alien parachuting around the torso, above the ground of predatorskogo wing parachute pack is available, almost like our forefathers over Berlin - the Soviet-type D-5. By the way speaking, not all the unfortunates were able to land on the advanced technologies of the future, some lost its guts myself to death.

Surviving with amazement trying to understand what is in the nature happened, fastened first dramatic conflicts - for example, tsentnerovy Negro ambal Kalashnikov attempts among the ferns to deal with flimsy white dryschem in prison garb, and a hell of a Russian paratrooper hews to colleagues from the helicopter gatling not able to hit him with 15 meters at close range.

I grit, Russian soldiers at the time of the kidnapping was in a fight.

Pianist is encrypted, the question of where he was at the time of the abduction, refuses to answer. Perhaps, like his colleague - pianist Pletnev - a good reason to.

- When I was taken, I was in a fight. What are you doing when you were taken?
- Do not do this! It's slander! I was framed, I ask Borshevsky!

In general, one after another going the whole circus troupe - Jewish snipers of the IDF, bleary-eyed Red Army with an American machine gun (a clone of the governor of Minnesota), the Japanese Yakuza (the first thing was shot in the wild jungle boots and stumbled over the roots and bumps barefoot - experienced fishermen and hunters Hall gasped), Negrito from Sierra-Leone (powerful intuit, a child of nature).

The hunting interest represented flimsy prisoner with sharpening, personally, I did not understand, it would be better taken Doku Umarov, he is well able to hide in the jungle. Why poachers alien killer in medical gown - to understand the more absolutely impossible. If the principle of having "their own cemetery" professional healed to death, then, logically, it was necessary to take Gorbachev, he and services to reduce the population at the national level, and camouflage are always with you on the forehead, though the night he was awakened - ready to have thrown.

Rodriguez also brought in his film Johnny druzhbana "Machete" Trejo. It is to him like a fool with shag worn everywhere. Puts even children's movies Spy Kids, where a terrible alcohol-marginal mug Trejo scared the shit out of young viewers.

The head of our tent druzhban Pianist as a severe type of lone mercenary, whose comrades-in-arms - just meat on the head that you want to get out of the incomprehensible. Pianist, incidentally, is now stronger and could play trombone, but apparently decided to make it his Oscar role in Predators.

When the amazed public interested at Rodriguez, in his mind whether he - instead of shooting Pianist Schwartz, Rodriguez was justified by the fact that big-nosed, like, like a real war - lean and tatty, and Schwartz, they say, is pop music and fairy tale. And then, then, barefoot yakuza sword in the forest and alien Machete with a submachine gun - normal tribute to the realism. You can imagine what a head creator Predators boiled porridge.

So, a bunch of stray clowns trying to orient yourself. But nothing comes out!

Mosses and lichens grow on the wrong side of the trees, ant not on the hill, and most importantly - the sky suspiciously hang two of the Moon and three of the sun. Besides, out of nowhere, out of the bushes and thundering hooves pounding horns hunting "dogs." What are the dogs against the beasts from the six-barreled machine gun poachers apparently did not think, in the end all Bobikov allowed for stuffing brand hail volley style "it seems we hit someone." Dogs Predators recall, dudya in hunting horn (apparently, there is still a human decoy and an inflatable mannequin women).

The detachment of our tourists, meanwhile, arrives at predatorskuyu Deleanu. There, as befits the parking lot of poachers, creepy srach and unsanitary conditions - mountains of bones, scraps and empty bottles all around lit bonfires on the trees vyalyatsya oshkurennye carcasses tourists last arrival. And the funny thing - in the midst of the camp to a pole attached natural predator, or a local gamekeeper, or a poacher oskotinivshiysya alcoholism purely predatorskie "Peculiarities of the National Hunt»!

Tourists trying to ask a local what time and how to get to the nearest railway station, but he is clearly unable to communicate normally - just grunts and shakes his head. Then suddenly jump out of the Twilight comrades poacher and let's chop all the left and right! Smoke, fire, screeching - Predators fun. Tourists fall once successfully tucked waterfall, leaving the battlefield downed cowardly ambush Negritos.

And then our herd shaking and bleating "best killers on the planet" has taken root on the planet meets Morpheus. Morpheus predatorskoy wears a cap of invisibility, and, judging by the indecent plump the face, around the corner from his dugout all the 10 years of wandering is a stall with draft beer and tray of cheesecake. Then it turns out that Morpheus mental - on the basis of seclusion he is seriously progressing schizophrenia. He invites travelers to spend the night in their lodge and, giggling, for some reason, it ignites.

In light instantly rushed poachers and the first thing raspatronili mental fool, so his motivation and the sense of presence in the plot and were one of the many mysteries of the film. But in general, grown fat as Morpheus taiga fool hermit - another stroke of genius director Rodriguez, hats off.

Predator meanwhile sat tight on the tail of tourists - it is understandable, at night on the action effects should be less, still no one make out.

Rodriguez meanwhile rushing is not a child - a feeling that the student, his tongue hanging out of zeal, malyuet voynushku on the back page of a school notebook.

Partly pleased that the National Rodriguez portrayed, though far away, but principled and heroic fighter - Russian killed, rescuing a comrade, caught up with the Raptors their score 1: 1. Apparently, as befits a truly spiritual creator, rising to US trough, Americans Rodriguez does not like - positive Americans in the film is not at all.

Barefoot Yakuza friends with Predator saber. This, remember, there is type on an alien planet. So alien moon in the whole sky, alien field with walking on alien wind alien grass-ant waves Samurai Predator and waving swords.

Conclusion? That's right, all the Japanese with his anime - aliens. Especially because Macrocephalae predator at dusk one-to-one similar to the Ninja Turtles movie series of the 90s. Again, I want to ask Rodriguez: if you shoot an anime about aliens, what in your film does Pianist?

Ridiculous, of course, but so-so shot twice sluggish agreed, and the type of iron things bumping fatally stabbed each other in an unequal battle. Predator - Darwin Award posthumously.

Rodriguez reserved for the final of the "unexpected" plot moves. Among the visitors was a maniac. Who decided to express their essence manyachnuyu at the right time - when the poachers, whooping, drive them through the grove, after throwing axes and pitchforks. Maniac gets dramatic hat by pianist, who is determined to steal a spaceship predatorsky!

And yet, on the heels of a pianist and tsahalskoy strelchihi is most hardened Predator - a poacher recidivist black muzzle! With Papuan bone in his nose - that's such space technologies. This type particularly cynical biologist, naturalist, perhaps even knacker, and maybe even worse. Pianist runs to the Predator-huntsman associated in predatorskom cabin. They say so and so, Petrovich, poachers completely lost the fear, lyutuyut in the national reserve, rather grab offenders and drag them into your predatorsky okolotok! Offended senior fellow predator grabs his sword and pianist gives the ignition keys from the spaceship, they say, is ticking Kashtanka not let a black muzzle plague populations of weevils.

And now - the climax. Forester and black muzzle came together in an epic battle predatorskoy. What, why, why? Unclear. Clumsy scuffling in the dark, though the lack of any interesting discoveries in the shooting melee. Incomprehensible predators predatorskogo camp did not show - another nonsensical plot nonsense citizen Rodriguez.

As a result, the final fight with a black muzzle Pianist imagination of the director left quite. It turns out the coolest Predator can halt, just leaping on his hump and good otdubasil him some reinforcement until his noggin will not fall off. Really, what ingenious traps, why the predator-prey balance when possible, as in the North Chertanovo just zhahnut Predator bat on the back of the head in a dark entrance, and take off his watch, phone and wallet.

Not that the original Predator was a masterpiece in its time it was created as a specific category of Baie. But the director McTiernan was clearly put the emphasis - balanced the hellish alien hell of a human monster, Schwartz, gave him the most colorful comrades in arms (not all know that the movie played as much for two future governor of the US - California and Minnesota), came up with a coordinated pack severe predators -voennyh rather than disperse herd of clowns, and clearly put the line where Man and Predator are swapped in his Chevy.

Rodriguez, beside emotional seizures like: "Let's make the best killers in the alien planet! And let's - Samurai vs. Predator saber! And let's - Predator vs. Predator! And let's El Mariyachi will play the guitar, and a Predator walks into a bar and ... "- except here these idiotic attacks of children's creativity, anything distinct and conceptually solid could not offer.

Even all the special effects hidden in the dark. It turned out no better than "Alien vs. Predator 2", except that pokomichnee.

I believe, to save the franchise next series of the saga about the features of the cosmic hunt to charge is directed by Rogozhkin.

Oh, how he confused comedy Jumble Rodriguez shut up for the belt clearly.

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