How to become a hipster?

Writes Dmitry Shepherd dmitrypastushok:

Hipsters be very cool. Not to say the truth, why. But cool. Torial !! 1. To become a hipster is not enough just to read clever books and complex schschah smoothly rub for art house. Neeeeeet, damn, is not so simple ...

We must abide by the rules! RULES FUCK !!!

In short, right now Daddy you all in order to explain.

RULE ONE "WITHOUT LUKA - you're nobody"

Without a bow - you're nobody! Remember, no one, damn! Onions - ITS MUST e. For suckers explain: onion - a hipster photo in full growth, which shows the slope of hipster their belongings and their nevebennuyu advancement. Like, the male shows his strength and agility to attract a female for the purpose of procreation, hipster cool ebashyt onions. However, luring the female is not the purpose hipster because hipsters too spiritual to carnal fucked. The maximum that lascivious female can get this market for art house and flyer in Armu.

1. hipster ebashyt onions on a background of birch and Khrushchev

Onions also ebashytsya according to certain rules - hipster is in full growth, heels together, toes apart, hands at his sides, his face expresses humility, eternity, flour (in the sense of anguish, and not that of what makes the dough) and something high and space simultaneously. In short, such a dakfeys, hipster looks at you as a shit, but in a hipster.

Bow ebashytsya at every opportunity. He sat in the underground book chitnut - huyak bow! Out with the dog for a walk - huyaks bow!

17 photos





2. hipster dog zaebashil fleeting bow

- Mom, I'm on the Chamberlain for onions! - Says hipster, leaving the house.

Mother screams after son to buy more bread. Common man would have done. But do not hipster. What did he do? That's right, drive to the theater and there zaebashyl ​​onions.



3. hipster Chamberlain came on for onions

Doebalas gopota some drunk on rayonchike - huyaks zaebashyl ​​immediately bow to it was not terrible. Before going to sleep can be a bow zaebashyt. At lunch. At the May holidays well ebashyt bows. On Midsummer. At Easter bows generally do ebashatsya as abnormal.



4. went to the boutiques of sour cream - huyaks bow!



RULE TWO "Dear VINTAGE"

The Status of hipster does not work normally - the more expensive clothes, so it is cooler. Everything is trickier. Here is the cooler clothes, which is cheaper. It quoted zadrochennye castoffs that hipsters pointedly called vintage. Prized belongings, made their own hands. It is important to know the name brands. For example, Dolce Gabbana - fu, Gucci - Fu. Eyes on Zara, ashendem and, of course, Topshop.

5. hipstersha on vintage floor ebashyt vintage bow



RULE THREE "The right of one hand"

In one hand must always be a hipster bag. This is the same mast as the onions. Without bags hipster, both without onion, that is, one that is a schmuck, that is no hipster. Bags are traded are different, but appreciated not that expensive, but that vintage (usually two). Bag is not just an accessory, it is functional, the bag hipster wearing a hat and camera down to the pool.

6. hipstersha watching football at home and at half-ran with the bag in the entrance, to bow
zaebashyt


If the bag is not, but desperately need the bow ie variantik hold in one hand some garbage. Fuck we dance, as they say.

7. hipster ebashyt bow with bars for barbecue



8. went to fetch water - huyaks bow!



9. lousy after Hawk? damn, but to shit - bow!

(there was a girl with a bag of McDonald's) RULE FOUR "fotkat garbage"

Every self-respecting hipster must have the camera down and be able to take a picture garbage. Fotik only Holga. This is reinforced. On the Holga that no fotkay, all on-hipster. The main thing that it was all spread out and dark.

10. labor hipster pictures are always very conceptual



11. The most hipster prehipstersky fotik the world



RULE FIVE "Be on the glasses"

Cool to wear glasses reyban. Reyban - a very-hipster. In reybane no zapadlo never zaebashyt onions. But as reyban expensive, we can restrict a cheap imitation. Counterfeits - is also in hipster. You can buy a cheap old glasses for twenty rubles, bitch vintage, and wear them as reyban. Do not forget one thing: his glasses - ebash bow!

12. hipster always thinks globally: some asshole pereebal back - huyaks bow!



RULE SIX "follow fashion"

Follow fashion! Next, I said! All the latest fashion trends should fasten hipster still on approach to his hometown. It has become fashionable short hair color Blondie - pussy to friends, hairdressers and huyar afford such. In this case, the problem is easily revealed the famous twins in-bag. Two hipstershi with skirts to the floor and black hats in line for a boost? This is not a witch twin - a fashion whore!

13. hipstersha ebashyt conceptual onion: if it is flipped, you get soft sign, lost in the woods in winter



RULE SEVEN "to think like a hipster"

You bitch cold! You hangover! You do not even have the bag, and you do not fuck like it was in the swamp! Think like a hipster, "it would be necessary zaebashyt onions ..."

14. hipster always thinking of only one thing

His thoughts hipster merges in moleskin - the most fashionable female with notebook rezinochkoy. Each hipster poet at heart, and his poems he ebashyt in moleskin. If you can draw hipster, hipster and each knows how to draw and understand the design, then it is not even moleskin and a sketchbooks. Zaebashyl ​​bow - garbage in his sketchbooks!

15. hipster poet ebashyt onions and beer, and on his T-shirt run crosses

By following these simple rules, you'll be a hipster. You understand that everything you've hipster, very simple.

"TAG subway cars"

If the subway you get the feeling that all passengers want to piss in your face, everything, damn you - hipster! Kongrats! Smack! PFI! In short, the brain does not fuck what? That's right - runs out of the car and soon ebash bow!

16. hipster ran out of the car, was in the woods and zaebashyl ​​bow (such a hurry that the bag somewhere squander)



That's all, folks. Now, each of you, following the advice from the usual zadrota can turn into a hipster and a steep zaebashyt his first bow. And Daddy tired to slap on the buttons to the same time to ebashyt dining onions. All chmafke not get sick!

PS.

17. hipster and it is not just the dude was for bread and ended up in someone's bow



Source:

Tags

See also

New and interesting